Monday, January 07, 2013

Slowness


Somehow, to me this New Year feels less delineated than previous ones. January 1st feels more like just a date in the calendar than a new beginning. Thus, my need for New Year’s resolutions is vague, if anything.

Certainly, I could promise myself to write a novel, to finish what I have started, to write more on this blog, to visit more blogs, or rather give a sign that I’ve been there, to read more books, to do this, that and the other, and, of course, all of them more, more, and more, faster, faster, and faster. After all, I did that every January. And every year I did my best to achieve these goals of doing, and if I couldn’t, then I would struggle even more. With each new struggle to do more and do it faster, regardless of its outcome, one thing came for sure. One thing that I’ve come to dread. The overwhelming feeling of Time slipping through my fingers, bringing about the panic of running out of time.

This has to change. Because, you see, this time I’m planning more to be than to do. Just be, here and now, smell the roses or the coffee, even write a line or two when I feel like it, with no pressure. I’m not that sure how this can be done, but I’ll learn.

Less is more, that’s what they say, don’t they?

So, yes, this is my resolution for 2013. Slowness.

 watercolor by Amelia Jane Murray, Lady Oswald, 1800-1896

16 comments:

strugglingwriter said...

Time will slip through your fingers whether you worry about it or not, so you might as well not bother to worry about it :)

I don't do resolutions, because I don't see much significance of flipping the calendar from one year to the next. But yours is as good of one as any.

I hope you achieve all you want and more in 2013!

Paul

Bernard Lee DeLeo said...

Good luck! :)

Vesper said...

Thanks , Paul! I hope the same for you.
Sometimes, January feels like a clean slate, where you can start over and do well all the things you've done (sort of) badly before. We'll see what this year brings...

Thank you, Bernard! :-)

Nicky Schmidt said...

Ah, to be, how synchronous, that's been my promise to myself for this year too! To be, to live in the moment. I hope you have a completely wonderful and magical 2013, dearest Vesper! xxx

Charles Gramlich said...

The fight for experience rather than sensation is a never ending struggle.

Geraldine said...

I feel the same way about the beginning of this new year; the start of 2012 had more of an impact it seemed. I think you're wise to slow down and smell the roses in all senses of that lovely phrase. We can miss so much when we scurry through the days, trying to cram in one more task of that never ending to-do list. Even reading, really reading blog posts at my fav blogs is something I've been guilty of skimming through at times. Again, so many good things, thoughts..that can be missed.

I hope it's a stellar year for you Vesper. All the best. G

Vesper said...

Nicky, I’m so glad we think alike and it’s such a pleasure to see you here! Thank you for your heartfelt wishes. May they be returned to you a thousandfold.
xoxoxo

I know, Charles, you’re right. My goal is to achieve the equilibrium I seek without struggling... or without perceiving the whole process as a struggle...

Geraldine, yes, it seems as if I paid less attention to the changing of 2012 into 2013... I’ll try to open my eyes wider... for everything... :-)
A stellar year... I like that! Thank you! And to you too!
xoxoxo

Jon M said...

Belated Greetings, Vesper! Good Luck in all you do! :)

the walking man said...

yep as you age you find that your step needs be slower, not because you fear where you place your foot anymore but because we walk too fast when we are young and just starting out with jobs and family. Once those roots are established why do we need to hurry our lives away?

Fireblossom said...

There is a saying: "There is always just enough time." Is it strictly true? I don't know, but it does calm me every time I think of it.

laughingwolf said...

had i been slower, i'dve not fallen down my back stairs, slipping on ice, and nearly killing myself... nothing broke, but me, lying on the ground, my dog thought it must be play time... worst was tailbone pain

last week, +17C... this week, +2

Vesper said...

Jon, thank you! It's very nice to see you here. My best wishes to you. :-)

Mark, indeed why? And yet we do it... all the time. :-) I suppose it gives us the illusion that somehow, by cramming as much as possible in our days we would have lived "fuller" lives... when the end comes, but I'm afraid we would only find out that we've wasted them away... So, yes, slower and tasting every moment - this is what I'll try to do. :-)

Shay, I think it could be true. Let me think about it...

LW! I'm so sorry that you hurt yourself but also glad that you are fine. I know something about that tailbone pain. A few years ago I slipped and fell on two steps at home and, yes, it was horrible. And, yes, I was in a hurry to do something... who knows what...

laughingwolf said...

thx... early morning, still dark, taking dog out for his constitutional... knew it was -12C with windchill... saw frost all around by light on garage... did not register wooden stairs would be icy... first step - boom!

SzélsőFa said...

sounds reasonable.

Sarah Hina said...

Amen, Vesper.

These thoughts could be my own.

Brian Miller said...

choosing to be and not just do is a great goal for the year...we can get so caught up in the doing we can forget who we are be-coming..

thanks for stopping in today...smiles.