Thursday, December 04, 2008

Explanation

Frozen Flower Study

OK, so
this is how (I think) it was.
A wind came first,
out of nowhere, really,
or out of
the cave of
indifference,
carrying
a hint of autumn-
ignored
or maybe just
not recognised-
a subtle chill,
a whiff of ices,
a rain,
an unexpected frost
one morning.
The rain stayed,
in guise of eyeglasses
lending grey lenses
to my weary eyes.
Missing words,
abandoned dreams,
forgotten smiles
were not sought,
offered no shelter.
Before I knew it,
my soul had shed
its fragile leaves.
Love, sadness, pity, joy,
even anger,
even desire,
lay withered at my feet.
Hope lasted longest,
such a tiny leaf,
still green
as I stomped
on it
on my way through
the daily routine.
Was it a sign that
the sky dropped then
fluffy tears?
I don’t know.
Do I care?
The snow that covers now
my feelings
holds no promise
of renewal.
No spring music can (will) thaw
my numb heart.
Forever
I am winter.

18 comments:

Sarah Hina said...

Oh, Vesper. Those spring birds will warm your heart again with their eager pull and twitter.

And yet, this poem perfectly encapsulates my feelings today, too.

Is that some small comfort (I hope, perhaps)?. To know that the leaves of your words brushed someone else's heart.

Akasha Savage said...

What a beautiful, beautiful poem. :)

Catvibe said...

Thank you for sharing this with us. Wow, going farther and farther down into the bleak, bleaker, bleakest freezing nothingness... Brrrrr...

But look, there's the tiny green leaf floating down a little underground stream, see?

Loved it.

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

When winter comes - it does seem as though we will never feel the warm spring sun thawing our winter faces! As I look out my window, now, into my poet's garden, I feel forlorn and lonely with the vision of bleakness. Your poem perfectly captures that feeling through your word choices and phrasing.

Your last few lines make me think that you are telling a person that you have been hurt and will never get over it - and that you will always be cold to her/him. Loved this!

Miladysa said...

Chilly :D

The snow has had me writing poetry this week - along similar lines. Strange how the winter brings these thoughts on.

L.A. Mitchell said...

I feel cold just reading it. When you live where there's no snow, it brings about entirely different thoughts. For me, home :) Your poetry is always such a treat.

Vesper said...

Darling Sarah, yes, a great comfort, I thank you... I've been feeling like this, or rather not feeling anything in my numb heart for a few days now... but already, I think, the writing has started to show its therapeutical virtues. Thank you! I hope you too are warming up…

Thank you, Akasha! :-)

And I thank you, Catvibe, for reading it and for showing your appreciation. A bit too cold, maybe, yes… :-)

K., thank you so much! How fragile we are… We who live in these northern regions are much affected by this weakening of the light… A person, maybe, but maybe more a general malaise.

Thank you, Miladysa. :-) There’s too much snow, too much grey, for too long a time…

You’re lucky, L.A.! One can only wonder why people live I places of cold and darkness… Thank you for your good words. :-)

the walking man said...

It is true... winter will always be winter. It is good that Earth turns the seasons and not the seasons the Earth.

What a great run up to the conclusion of this poem Vesper. I particularly appreciated that hope hung on the longest (C'mon Indian Summer one more day).

Love this wordful beauty.

Chris Eldin said...

I love your poetry, Vesper. I like 'fluffy tears.' It's a beautiful image, even though it's sad.

laughingwolf said...

very evocative, v... about how i feel now i have the estimate on my car repairs :(

BernardL said...

You sure pushed the buttons with this one, Vesper. Desire and hope haven't fled yet, but the pilot light is flickering in a stiff breeze. :)

Aine said...

I can hear my mother's voice "and this too shall pass." I believe she is right...

Spring will come. Numbness will thaw. And life will have meaning again.

Sorry you are struggling right now, Vesper. Just know that you are not alone.

That photo is a perfect capture of winter's freeze!

Minister of the Masochistic Truth said...

I love the lines:

The rain stayed,
in guise of eyeglasses
lending grey lenses
to my weary eyes.

I share your sense of winter burying one's spirit as we face long days of darkness and frigid temperatures. In contrast, the warmer, lighter months personify our spirits. In the end, we learn to be grateful, despite our desire to burrow beneath our blankets and await Spring's arrival!

Lisa said...

This poem really got to me.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

This is just so beautiful, so totally evocative.
To thaw winter's chill a little I send you sunshine and clear blue skies.
xxx

Vesper said...

Thank you, Mark. You are so kind… Yes, c’mon Indian Summer one more day! :-)

Chris, thank you for your kind words. Snowflakes can be seen in so many different ways… :-)

Ah, I’m sorry Laughingwolf… That’s a tough one… :-( :-) (thank you!)

Bernard, you, Sir, are in California! :-)

Aine, you know, this is exactly what I’m always saying to myself, whenever I go through or whenever I anticipate difficult moments, “It’ll pass. It’ll soon be over.” Thank you, my dear Aine! :-)

Minister of the Masochistic Truth, thank you and welcome!
In the end, we learn to be grateful - yes, I think there is something to be gained spiritually out of everything.

Lisa, I’m sorry, yet I’m also content. Thank you.

Vanilla, thank you so much. Your words and your sunshine are most welcome.
:-)
xoxoxo

jason evans said...

I feel a thread of defiance behind the words. Very nicely done!

Our sense of things can be like that. The weather turns just enough, days shorten, and all the leaves fall at once.

Ello said...

Oh Vesper - I love love love this poem!!!! I am going to print it out and save it in my writing journal. I feel this in nearly every word. Right now it is so apt. I do feel that I am winter. It is how I feel about the whole submission process. Gah.

But thanks for this powerful poem. It encapsulates my feelings so precisely now. I love it.