Friday, February 26, 2010

A Dawn

Things look better in the morning
Sleep, cousin of oblivion,
Has filed the sharp edges
Of all these unnameable sentiments
That have slashed your soul
Relentlessly last evening
And then has blown them away
Into the starry night
Where they now add up to that
Ever-mysterious dark matter
The promise of the sun is there
In the darkest dawn

I think this is quite an interesting picture... A whole different story than this silly little sad poem could be written out of it. Does anyone care for a try? :-)


Gerry Boyd said...

veils of the gray and peeping sun
drift above and through the stark mist
of another and another and another dawn:

the night has passed in silence again,
the drying scents of damp wood ends
as the recurring dream of day begins-
this lonely clasp is cold enough.

Fireblossom said...

Your poem is not silly, Vesper. I quite liked it!

Meanwhile, I shall have a go at composing a poem to go with the pic! If I succeed, I'll post it at WG and link up. K? No promises, but I'll try! :-)



Charles Gramlich said...

great pic indeed. I think your poem honored it just fine.

Karen said...

But your poem makes me hopeful that with some perspective, maybe the despair that is lurking around can be blown away into the stars. Not silly, but sad. Hopeful. I have my fingers crossed.

Anonymous said...

Yes, sometimes dawn is such a wonderful kick to our bodies. When we're feeling down in general, it's great to jump on that upsurge in energy.

Terresa said...

This poem deserves a few readings. I like how sleep is described, it pushes my mind places where it hasn't been before. Bravo!

the walking man said...

Dawn breaks with her brooding
on her dark housed demons.
She waits for
a wee bit more light
to expose them.

SzélsőFa said...

limestone is the night
creatures dead eons ago
frozen patterns move

I don't know what this is at all, Vesper.
word verification was caltism and this strange word plus this inspirational photo made my write this stupid little pseudo haiku.
I am sorry for all those haiku writer and lover out there, but this is just what it said.

like in a 'they made me do it' way.
Vesper, I don't know what else to say.

SzélsőFa said...

and of course: haiku writerS and loverS


laughingwolf said...

it has potential, but i'm happy with yours, v...

BernardL said...

That picture looks like the companion piece for the one in 'The Ring' horror movie. :)

When darkness falls, I dream of light.
As dawn shines forth, I dream of night.
On stormy nights I miss the sun’s rays.
When dry outside I miss rainy days.
In chilly Fall, I yearn for Spring.
In Spring, I yearn for Fall’s coloring.
With Winter’s cold, I want Summer heat.
With hot Summer, I want a snowy treat.
If wishes were money I’d be wealthy,
But in wishing so long I’m not even healthy. :)

Vesper said...

I like this, Gerry, thank you!
as the recurring dream of day begins-
this lonely clasp is cold enough.
- chilly…

Thank you, Shay! :-)
When I’m writing something like this, I feel all gloomy, or rather I’m writing it because I feel all gloomy, but once it’s finished, and especially once it’s posted, I can see its great therapeutic value. And it can even seem silly… Sorry to “drop” it on those who read this… :-)

Thanks, Charles. Maybe a horror story lurks inside… :-)

Karen, please read, if you’d like, what I wrote above, for Shay. And thank you, dear Karen! :-)

Jason, yes, the renewed hope of the daily new beginning…

Terresa, thank you so much! Wow… And thank you for stopping by. :-)

I love this, Mark! :-)

SzélsőFa, this is really, really fantastic! Wow! Thank you. ‘'They made me do it’… isn’t this the best way?
Yes, some of the verification words are weird; sometimes I’m writing them down for future inspiration… :-)

LW, thank you… A little horror story, perhaps? :-)

BernardL, this is human nature, isn’t it?... :-) :-) :-)
I’m glad you thought of a horror movie! :-)

Rick said...

Wait a minute- weren't you supposed to be working on a novel? I'm afraid I'm going to report you to the novel-writing police. They might let you off with a ticket. You are a first time offender, right? If you're not, just remember that it's awfully hard to type wearing handcuffs.

And instead of trying my hand at poetry, I think I'll read your lovely poem again.

laughingwolf said...

horror/humor... there's a difference? :O lol

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

You are right! This image is very intriguing. You do it justice with your strong words and poetic theme. This line chilled me...Of all these unnameable sentiments
That have slashed your soul..

I love your work so much!

Vesper said...

You caught me, Rick! :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) I'm a bad girl... :-) :-) :-)

LW, that's a great point! :-)

Oh, Kaye, you are sooo sweet! Thank you1

Aniket said...

I hope they are not just promises! Great lines as always.

I'm always looking for good picture prompts to write on. So much so. I'm planning to convert flash-fiction to a dedicated pic-prompt-tagging-fiction-writing-community site. Will let you know when I manage to get it up. In the meanwhile I'll take up your offer and write a story on that pic, with your permission of course. :)

Aine said...

I honestly didn't find that poem to be silly or sad. I thought it was a perfect expression of the cleansing qualities of sleep that I am so grateful for.

What a wonderfully haunting photo. I agree it is just begging for a story to be told.

Liza said...

"The promise of the sun is there
In the darkest dawn

I love that!

Cynthia said...

Quiet. very good. Yes, sleep the cousin of oblivion.